abstrait

This abstract photography project is an expression of the distortion of light caused by visual impairment. The focus is on choosing to see the unique point of view as an advantage, instead of a detriment. The artist intends to make the best of a difficult situation

I was diagnosed with keratoconus around ten years old. I was told that”instead of a baseball shaped cornea, yours is pointed, like a football.” Outside of surgery, my best option was to wear hard contact lenses designed to “hold the shape” of my cornea while providing a sharpness in vision. I have worn various kinds of hard lenses nearly all of my life.

Over the years, contact lenses took a real toll on my physical well being. My eye pain would lead to strain in my face and neck muscles. It would even reach my shoulders and back, causing pain that I continue to manage almost 30 years later.

While I managed to continue succeeding in school and sports, the sacrifice was becoming less beneficial over time. Not to mention, the endless battles with insurance providers over the “medical necessity” of my lenses, put the large burden of cost on my parents and the anxiety of losing a $300-$600 lens was a lot for teenager. Actually, as I write this, I’m realizing just how much.

One night, on my way home after a long day, I decided that my eyes needed a break. I was in the passenger seat, passing through Lake Elsinore on Interstate 15, and I took a picture with my phone. I wanted to capture the city lights below but, ended up with weird lines of light and shadowed edges. I was disappointed for a moment.

While I still struggle to communicate just exactly what the world looks like to me, the resulting image felt like an accurate expression of the way light is distorted on its way to my retina. Even when experts and other patients try to describe it, it seems inadequate. In any case, it’s certainly unsafe to drive like this.

I have since been forced into disability. As a pizza delivery driver and kitchen staff professional, losing the ability to drive a vehicle safely is just not viable. Even with the best lenses the doctors could prescribe, finding adequate work became nearly impossible.

I tried to stay positive and productive. Even without proper vision, I’ve put myself all in on photography. Thanks to a hand-me-down digital camera and to the advancements in smartphone cameras, I’ve been able to learn a lot about photography.

In 2019, after saving what I could from a limited income, combined with a generous BestBuy credit card term, I was able to purchase my first real DSLR camera and launch a webspace.

As of 2022, I’ve nearly recovered from a corneal transplant on one eye and intend on beginning the next eye, very soon. I’m happy to say that my vision has improved dramatically but, I will still need vision correction before I can return to the world.

Collecting these abstract tokens will provide relief towards various expenses including surgery, treatment, and contacts and/or glasses, not to mention any cost associated with continuing to be a creative.

My long-term goal is to eventually leave the disability program and afford to live on my own. If things go well, I would love to put money back into the Social Security Administration, out of gratitude for easing the burden on my family for all these years. Another long term goal would be contributing to research on keratoconus and other visual impairment issues, treatments, and insurance policy reform.